Papa after the birth of third child
After I said something amazingly irritating today I realized that I am saying a lot of things to my kids that sound a little too much like a "parent". It helps when you read the following to imitate my New York accent....
You're holding up progress kid.
That looks like a disaster waiting to happen.
You're skatin on thin ice, cruisin' for a bruisin', flirting with death...
Don't stick your arm out too far it may go home in another car.
Let go of your johnson
Stop breathing
Five, Four,Three,Two, One...(Believe it or not I have never reached Zero though I have made the zzzzz sound once or twice)
One of these days..pow, right in the kisser
Do I look like a jungle gym?
Fine, I'll brush your teeth for you.
No groin punching.
Don't call me dude.
Mama is not exempt. I have a few of hers as well...
Don't even think about it.
Are you guys going to be okay, or am I going to have to come in there?
You have two choices....
I am not your maid.
An apple is nature's toothbrush
I'm sure you all have some of your own, whether your Pop said them to you or you are hearing your Pop coming out of your mouth. Genetics or Environment?
3 comments:
How about:
"Look with your eyes, not with your mouth."
"Looks like your eyes were bigger than your stomach."
"I'll give you something to cry about!"
or, my fave, though I'd never heard it myself, but just because it sounds funny:
"Do you want the belt or the slipper?!?"
Hey, your blog is becoming addictive, nice pictures and short (going to the point narratives). It took me a while to figure it out about the johnson, but I think I get it.
Daleth
Is "johnson" a New York thing? It totally cracks me up too.
I say so many things like my mom now that I am a parent. Of course I can't think of one thing right now...
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