I feel your pain!...

(photo from the first week with newborn Emmett)
You may think that this is just not the best picture of me but it goes beyond dark circles around the eyes. Anyone who has been there or IS there, with a newborn, no sleep, cracked nipples...knows this expression. The semi-faked smile that says to your spouse, "you aren't really gonna take a picture of me now are you..." followed by a few displaced tears...and hopefully a shower...

Looking through these old pictures of Emmett's first days, I can really feel the whirlwind of emotions... It's rough, as well as being great and new etc...but HARD, too. That's why every mama has a story to tell, not just about their childs birth but about all of it, from diapers to the first day of school and on and on. It's a battle story mixed with a bit of fish-tail, shaggy dog and glory days!


After the many, many responses from a couple of posts back (the grocery store incident with Silas) I see that every one has been there...and it helps to know that. My sister-in-law Cami, is in the thick of it...day 13...hang in there mama! And check out her ridiculously cute baby girl Finley!!

so funny!....

all over the place...Silas the LOUD!

OK, this boy is all over the place! Scooching, a bit of actual knee crawling, lots of grabbing and reaching out, LOOKING at everything, swinging his head around, doing 360's ...this little bit of video doesn't even come close to the level of TROUBLE we are in for! (in a good way!)

down to earth moment...

well, today in the grocery store I had one of those sobering moments when you realize you are not all that...and you wonder if you actually are just a fake after all...



so...Silas was in my arms on the way into (I admit) VONS, in the sling, and I thought, "he's old enough to try out the cart." So, I put him in and he proceeded to scream his brains out in the lot and then through the front door and all through produce. At first I felt unphased because, well, that happens and has happened to me time and again. So, I finally picked him up, now hysterical, bright red with snot pouring down his face. I put him in the sling, dropped his hat, bent over to pick the hat up and he grabbed onto some edge of something that literally tipped over the apple cart. OMFG. (I am not sure if that means what I think it means but I hope it's a swear word and takes the lords name in vain.)
Now Silas is obviously a mess and I am starting to sweat and get stressed and agitated and frustrated and unable to calmly deal...in otherwords, all my cocky mommy confidence just left the building...
...so now I have nice grandmotherly types coming out of the bakery to help ...not to pick up the zillion apples that fell but to help poor pitiful me who obviously knows nothing about anything, by telling me that Silas should be in the cart and he's too old for this and that...how they never brought babies to the store (basically how all my decisions were WRONG!) And then the final blow, by me of course..."Go AWAY !! I am FINE!!!" (Yes, I really said that...and in a very snotty and uncalled for immature voice, too...)
...at that moment, or rather looking back on that moment, I see how many times I have waltzed in to give advice or help like some know it all savior and all I should have done was picked up the frickin' apples.
...so for all of you out there who have been victim to my sage wisdom (and you know who you are!) I am SORRY!
...because I don't know squat.

kindergarten camping...

We all just had so much fun on this trip...and I took a ton of pictures. I guess I'll have to get a flicker account because I got some great shots of all you wonderful families out there. Our school is full of truly interesting, and cool people. Thanks Morgan for the jump start into group camping! Dirty feet and all, I'd do it again!

Morgan and Silas being cute...both of them!!

The group, minus a few who left a bit early!

THE famous KATIE!!

Snuggly Forest Sleepers.

Morgan and Isaiah pondering...

The girls doing their thing.

Emmett was excited to find a "native american kitchen"!

mt. laguna in years past...

Tomorrow we are off with Emmett's kindergarten class
to go camping at Mt. Laguna. This is such a beautiful campground.
This will be our first year there with very little rain so
unfortunately we are not expecting as much water...no lake/bog
or creek. Still, I love this place.
The site of many happy memories!

2005, so green that year

2006 on the same weekend a year later with the gang...
pregnant with Silas...a lot can happen in a year!!

2006, the boys

ten years tomorrow!!...

(the kiss)
On Saturday Matt and I went out to dinnner to celebrate or 10th anniversary which is technically tomorrow, the 31rst . We had always said on our 10th we would go to Paris or something but...well...life happens and the timing was off (as well as the money thing! ha!).


(we still like to pretend we are cool!)
...anyway, we usually don't do that much for anniversaries but really wanted to mark this one somehow. So, I decided to get a ring I've always wanted and Matt at first was going to get a tatoo. After a couple of weeks of uninspired browsing for tatoos Matt decided what he really wanted was a banjo. That's a perfect 10th anniversary present I think, especially since music is one of his best gifts to our family!

(the ring, a bit blurry!)
The ring is special to me because is choc-full of symbolism...I am a sucker for secret meaning and traditionas you may have noticed...
anyway, the ring is from the 1800's. It is rose gold to match my wedding band. Its called a gypsy ring . The stone in the middle represents the moon, the rays coming off it, the sun. The stones around the outside were originally all garnets but a few were missing so we decided to leave two garnets for Macs birthstone and replace the rest with two amethysts for Emmett and two tourmalines for Silas. The entire ring was generously and lovingly reinforced and strenghthened by Megans dad, Ron, who is an awesome wax mold maker for fine jewelry.
It surprises me that I could be so happy about a ring as I am usually not that type of girl but this was the perfect gift...Thanks Matt for this and Everything!!!!!!!!
I love you and you know it!!!!!!!!!

one day old!!...

Her name is Finley Joyous Dreyer (and that's about the most beautiful name there is!!!)
8lbs80z 22 inches

Introducing...we don't know yet but SHE'S HERE!!!...

Born May 25, 2007 at 3:07 NY time!
I just can't wait any longer to tell all of you even though I don't know many of the particulars. Craig sent a picture of Cami and the baby nursing and that photo is a heart breaker, I tell you. Can't see much of the baby except for a bit of hair sorta brownish, reddish, blondish and sweet pink cheeks! For now the family is bonding behind closed doors and the cell phone is OFF! (good for them!)
So, I will have to get back to you about name, weight, length etc.
and...
..
Mac says, "hello little newie!"
and to snatch the final paragraph of one of our favorite books 'On the Day You Were Born'..."Welcome to the spinning world, the people sang, as they washed your new, tiny hands. Welcome to the green Earth, the people sang, as they wrapped your wet slippery body. And as they held you close they whispered into your open, curving ear, WE ARE SO GLAD YOU'VE COME!"

we are almost there...(what d'ya mean WE?!!)...

9cm, thinking it'll be time to PUSH ...
I'll keep you all posted!!

birth squad update...

6cm, walking around, feeling good, progressing...
matt asks, "how's it going?"
craig responds, "it takes at least 36 hours to birth the next woman president!"

we are on candle #6...

...we got a text message this morning from Craig saying they are starting it all up again after some rest. Their spirits are up...he used some military language like "Roger Wilco"to sign off...sounds like they are READY to BRING ON that BABY!!

anecdote to lighten the mood...

...so Mac says she likes this certain Pokemon named Hippo-something-or-other and tries a couple of names, trying to remember..."Hippo-cruel? Hippo-cron?
Hippo-crit?"
...and then she covers her mouth and looks at me with wide eyes.
"What?" I ask.
"Sorry, it just slipped out."
I couldn't figure out what she meant. "Do you think the word 'hypocrite' is a bad word or something?"
She says, "Yeah because I heard you saying it about Bush with Lauren and when you guys talk about Bush you say lots of bad words!".........

time to rest...

Cami and Craig are resting up tonight after a stalled labor...they will try pitocin once again in the morning...it's gonna be a long night...so sistas out there send out the good vibes to Cam!!

(I didn't paint this one, by the way, but I like it...I can't find the artists name..)

painting and waiting...

Latest update 12:00 noon...a text message from Craig saying that after the pitocin things are definitely moving along and getting more intense.

Favorite text message so far..."she's moaning in her sleep like a tibetan monk...she's so beautiful...I think I have aged 5 years in 5 days!"

Meanwhile I am painting with my head in another state, literally and figuratively!

tick...tick..tick....

last nights candle which lasted 18 hours!...



and this mornings refresher... with shrine intact...
Cami's water broke at 4 0'clock a.m. NY time and she is in early labor!! Craig sent Matt a great cell phone picture at 7:30 a.m. our time of Cami in a rocking chair on the porch of the birth center doing her thing...Craig's comment was that Cami is doing great but that he can't imagine "transition"...another papa word!!...He writes, "Cami is BRAVE!" Yesturday evening Craig sent a picture of them doing temporary tattoos on her belly HA!...
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So exciting!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

the colors of May...

When Matt and I were planning to get married we decided on May because we knew we would have a lot of out of town guests and they could come for the long Memorial Day weekend. But for me, the real reason was that all those people flying into San Diego could look out the window of the plane as they landed and see all the jacarandas in bloom. It always amazes me how this shade of lavendar can be so luminous.
I have had similar experiences in Kenya admiring the jacarandas in Nairobi...feeling very surprised how familiar such a far away place could seem.
And then of course there are the lilac bushes on the East Coast. Cami and Craig's wedding was also in May, 6 years ago. I remember cutting branch after branch from enormous lilac bushes on the side of the road to decorate their house for a party.
Anyway, great color, great month and now GREAT DAY....
we got a call from Cami and Craig and they will be going in to induce labor at 4:00 NY time. So, I am lighting the candle, also purple coincidentally...and thinking about NEW LIFE......

after school with the kids...

I realize this looks so orderly and idyllic...next they'll be doing dishes while they recite their multiplication tables, hahaha...
obviously the only reason I was able to take video at all was because it was one of those peaceful moments...
only a few minutes later they were quarreling over boundary lines and green fairy milk (really!)...
but how lovely it is hanging out with these kids ...mine and Carolines!

(by the way, I don't know if you ever have trouble viewing videos, if they are choppy, but it seems to work for me if I hold the mouse click down!)

fathers and their girls...

baby Mac (one month old) and her Papa

wish I had room for one of these...

...it's a bean teepee, looks like

there are some morning glories too...

another idea for next year!