i might get into trouble for this...

Shifting and Settling, Changes Abound

silas LOVES his new room

emmett now has a gigantor room, all cozy and bookish

and the upstairs has been entirely hogwarted with a train track, hagrids cabin etc

there's nana peeking out behind cilantro and daisies and see the new painting by mama, emmett and ren

and my room has had a transformation as well, definitely vagified. i said it.

Good-Bye Rose Panda

the saddest thing...we had to say good-bye to Rose Panda. She wasn't having that great of a life anymore and it was time...she was the best cat and we all spent a lot of time talking about all ways she was special to us...

we love you forever. we will miss you. you will always be a part of the flower house.

Kinder Grad!

Silas' New Purple Cast....

Our boy has broken his arm. He fell off the jungle gym not once but 3 times in the past week.
Luckily it's not too painful and he'll only have the cast for 4-6 weeks. Silas really likes his cast
so far and is having everyone sign it with his new silver pen.
Silas would also like you to know a little about Venus. Did you know that Venus' day is longer than a year because it rotates so slowly. And that it is often called "The Beautiful Planet with A Deadly Atmosphere"? Also, it's mountains are up to 5 miles high!
Since you couldn't be at his school presentation, he thought you should know!

Spring turns to Summer just like That!

 i completely couldn't help myself walking around the place I get to live
that just always, naturally, so so beautiful

 those, down there, are plums

 and our tiny mulberry with hundreds of berries

 our garden is really overgrown and seems to be enjoying the neglect

 even the bunny house got an untamed, out-of-nowhere, pink and fluffy roof

 the yellow finches, the unripe grapes

nature cradles our house.

Happy Birthday Cami!

I love you my beautiful and inspiring, completely kooky and hard working, full-of-magic sister.

Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy (that's FIVE) Birthday Feeee!

This was YOU last year on this very day. We love you and I wish we were sharing pancakes at this very minute! We are so happy for you, so thankful you were born, super excited you are FIVE!

Have a Fantastic DAY! xoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoAnnie, Matt, Mac, Emmett, Silas, Nana and Flower House Animals, Plants and Fairies xoxoxoxoooooxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxooxoxooxoxoxooxox

contagious giggles

you just can't not smile when you see this.

the quail botanical gardens

a small and perfect place to spend the day, ditching school and reading with emmett.

never before have I seen a flower this color

looking up, what a sight....because this big green tree has eyes!

It's About Time for This Post

I really love this blog because I love to go back and look.  But I have always known the posts from these past 5+ years are not a complete picture of our life. Not only do I leave out most of the good stuff (because I couldn't possibly document it all and wouldn't want to try!) but I am very aware that the picture painted is unreasonably rosy.

What is missing, of course, are all the bad times. The boring days and the sick days. When nothing that happened was pleasant at all. Or maybe what did happen wasn't even worth remembering. And then there's the really, really shitty times no one wants to dwell on...when everyone is at their worst or when very sad things happen. When people break a little. The emotional storms.
Our family is in in the middle of such a storm... weathering it, as they say....and it feels strange to continue posting happy pictures and silly videos without first addressing the elephant in the room...

Matt and I are separating. He is moving to an apartment nearby. We are doing ok and working through this with as much love as possible. We are still a family. This is super hard yet it also feels familiar, like change... just accelerated. All of us are working through this with all manners of support. (when I say "we" I mean all of us; kids, nana, all of the extended Lockee/Dreyer families) And the good part is that it seems to be in our nature to make the best of things so we are finding lots of time to have fun. (hence the silly videos and happy pictures I keep posting!)

 So, having finally said all that out loud (in the blogosphere with a bullhorn? now my computer knows? now you know, friends from afar? hello future me!? wha?) ...I will continue to blog the good stuff because that is what I like to dwell on.
This small family blog has been a healing and revealing process. It appeals to the artist, the designer, the writer, the photographer, the reporter, the narcissist, the activist, the proud mama, the eager traveler and the enthusiastic gardener in me. It feels important to write this post now because it feels better to be open about this. I've always taken note of the milestones and dramatic, life-changing events that happen to this family and here I go again. This needed to be written if only to have a reference point for the future and to not belittle the magnitude of these events with silence.

Sisters, Friends and Family near and far (yes, all 11 of you who visit this blog ;)  I am happy to continue this practice of documenting the good, despite the occasional not-so-good. Now I can do it with renewed openness.

Thanks and Love,
Annie

sleepover!

these boys love eachother!

 

Meg and Crys...WE LOVE YOU !

...because you always send cards and letters and care packages at just the right moment....and because you make amazing and wonderful forever art (below)...and because the world is so much better because of YOU

Maurice Sendak

Impossible not to feel something when reading his words.  Concise and true, always.
And I will never forget the way he animated Little Bear. Never.



"There must be more to life than having everything."

“Once a little boy sent me a charming card with a little drawing on it. I loved it. I answer all my children’s letters — sometimes very hastily — but this one I lingered over. I sent him a card and I drew a picture of a Wild Thing on it. I wrote, “Dear Jim: I loved your card.” Then I got a letter back from his mother and she said, “Jim loved your card so much he ate it.” That to me was one of the highest compliments I’ve ever received. He didn’t care that it was an original Maurice Sendak drawing or anything. He saw it, he loved it, he ate it.”

“And Max, the king of all wild things, was lonely and wanted to be where someone loved him best of all.”

“I have nothing now but praise for my life. I'm not unhappy. I cry a lot because I miss people. They die and I can't stop them. They leave me and I love them more...”

 
 "Children are tough, though we tend to think of them as fragile. They have to be tough. Childhood is not easy. We sentimentalize children, but they know what's real and what's not. They understand metaphor and symbol. If children are different from us, they are more spontaneous. Grown-up lives have become overlaid with dross."

“And now," cried Max, "let the wild rumpus start!”

Emmett's Work

Great!

I want to remember this!

 Talent show 2012!
My camera died at the very beginning of Silas' capoeira demonstration but luckily Zane's moms
sent me the video of his and Emmett's original song.

I love the talent show. (One year, Cam, you guys all have to come. It is seriously fun...especially if you enjoy people watching, of the younger variety!)

A good one Cam.

Read this article.

The Myth of Sustainable Meat.

(...and look, that cow has a heart

on his head!)

This House is One of MY FAVORITES

click in it to see it big.
I love that it is kinda falling apart....and the wisteria....

Love this one.

Caine's Arcade from Nirvan Mullick on Vimeo.